This is a stressful day. What a day! Everything started on the normal footing, until I looked at emails in the inbox and saw a comment of my writing being an offender of plagarism — wow!

    Indeed. Wow!

    I don't know what else I could say about it. Up to the point that I have built the exhaustive cross references I have ever known how and seen in any of the document generated by this company, and I know 99% of that document was written by me as the sole writer, and if there were any AI to do an analysis it would have found the style of my writing as if I were writing this blog — if you write things, you know there is a distinct way of wordings every writer bears, like it or not, like a finger print. And yet, plagarism. Wow.

    Actually, that's an easy defense to brush it off. What I'm really frustrated is the terrible mistake the team has made by not keeping up their own work and let the updates slip, so that the reviewer was working on the wrong version, thus missed all these fixes and likely was misled to such perception — how stupid!! and how incredibly irresponsible!

    Time and again, I have witnessed the China team fail to grasp the idea of engineering, that requires precision, deep thinking, lots of hard works to make pieces match, correct, accurate, and hopefully still elegant and easy to use, but by bluntly throw paperworks over the wall without ever looking, without ever even trying to understand the contents, without giving thoughts of how to make coordination better, easier, for next time at least, but falling into the same failure pattern, over and over and over.

    I truly believe now that engineering, management, are actually the same thing, because they require the same principle to be good ← essentially, whatever the virtue to make a good human being, is what would make a good engineer, or a manager, or a good husband, or a good wife.... it is really the same thing. Well, by putting in this way, unfortunately it can be derived that the percentage of such population is, quite low. The majority of the team, the company, the people you meet or know in life, will be guaranteed disappointing.

    I'm actually amazed how a bad judgment can be so common, even among supposedly smart people. I really don't get it. One thing I know for sure is that so called education doesn't change this at all — yes you can say it's the fault of a failed education, and degree certainly doesn't translate to good judgment. Yet, what's the alternative? what can a person have a good judgment? And when I say the word judgment, I don't mean like judgment day that will look over everything you did, and will make a call that is "surely correct" — what I mean is simply the subjective decision, the 判断 of a situation, imagine steps and where they can lead, and out of ambiguity to pick a path that turns out, by the person's historical track record, to be mostly good decisions, when looking back.

    This sounds easy, right? Isn't everyone already doing it? But there are paths that are so obviously wrong, that by just taking a couple steps in your mind, you will see all kinds of questions you don't know how to answer, and feel that this may not be a good idea. Yet, so many times, so many times, people take it as if they were blind! The truth is, I believe, that they don't have the capability to imagine that two steps and their potential consequences. Period.

    The lack of imagination, kills it. This is the exact trait of a young kid, you know!? and we can generally agree that kids in young age can not be trusted for their decision, because they are so short-term oriented, and so, detail-oriented. Over the weekend I had this conversation w/ Noah about something. I was using "a couple" as a description to make a point, and he corrected me immediately that "it was [a number]"... he totally didn't get what I was trying to make across, but firmly held on to be sure that the quoted number is correct.

    Kids, one can argue, is too young to have abstract thinking, being able to derive and to generalize. And here I am, dealing with a similar crowd who has no imagination, poor decisions, and genuinely not made for this line of work.

    I don't know. I'm tired. I'm the one who is going to be laughed at, I know. But I do think, even when the entire island thinks I'm insane, I still believe that it's the island that is not right, not me. Not because that I'm confident or even arrogant. No. It's the result that tells me so — when we go by their thoughts, bad things happen; when we go by my ways, good things happen.

    Well, now we have to justify by whose standard it is good or bad.

    Forget it. Let me just get over this fiasco. I'll never get myself into this mess again.

    — by Feng Xia


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