Traveling is indeed relaxing. I think I know why → first of all, you don't have the daily chore to deal with, no daily routine, no daily worries, no family, no kids, no work. Second, in a new place, it always spells opportunity, unknown, as if everything is now possible → new encounter, new face, new soul mate just around the corner. People don't know you, you don't know them. Somehow, they all look, nice, kind, smiling at you. Especially when you are in a new country, new language feels so exotic, you don't know what they are saying, but they all sound really, cute, don't they!

    Then, there is, people watching. How fascinating! The thing I like to do the most on a trip is, people watching. Just like now, sitting by a bay this beautiful window by a sidewalk in Seoul, snowing a bit this morning that streets are covered by a layer of snow dusts, then, watching office people walking by to their destination, all dressed up, all look serious, all still in their daily route ← somehow, you feel, superior, that you are looking at them as if God is looking at our earthings, how much pity he has for us then?

    The other day while walking pointlessly in Seoul, I ran into this nice 3-story Starbucks sitting in the middle of a triangle square. Went up the 3rd floor for a coffee break, perfect location to watch people in and out the fancy glass buildings surrounding all around. What do they do? what is their life like? do they have a love? and are they happy? are they married? or about to get married? are they dating? or in the middle of divorce? ..... oh, this massive loaf of cinnamon bread I ordered this morning!!!... too much food!!... even though it is really really good!!!... you know, life can't be better than this — sitting by a warm AC, next to a big winder, no one else but a low hum of air conditioner, flashing xmas tree and light, holiday is in the air, cold outside, a BIG mug of hot coffee, no agenda, no plan, just to kill time, to feel life, as it can be — life, is indeed, a beautiful thing. I had moments when I felt life was hopeless, not worth living anymore. Then, as of this moment, I think I would regret if I am about to die. There is a side of life that is vain, ugly, disgusting, harsh, unpleasant. Then, there is this side, peaceful, quiet, everything falls into its place, no rush, you can slow down, you can sit here in the morning, typing things on your mind, thinking about the person you want to think of, how far apart you have grown, where she is, what she is doing, how well she is today, does she also have a moment like this today, a cup of coffee for breakfast, and how much you wished she would be here, sitting across this table, having a conversation, even to talk about the daily headache you two have to solve today, it's ok, just be here, be here. How I wish you were, here!

    This is such an unexpected trip. Without connecting w/ Seokhwan for years, all of sudden he popped up in the map, and I decided when and then that I'm coming to see him, to see his city, his country, and to give myself a break. I don't know what to expect, and honestly, I don't really care. Just go somewhere, and have an alone time, is good. But what a wonderful place this is!!! I constantly think of the word, 苦寒之地, which must have been in the old days. But then, I have to say, their king back then picked a GREAT spot to set up this city, and the city has become really a nice looking place.

    So are their people, good looking — boys, girls, men, women, they all walk in style, though not yet as exquisite as the Japanese, but quite close. Girls all have perfect makeups on (well I guess they are perfect, cause I couldn't tell the difference otherwise), and have really beautiful hair. They are not all stars, but they take good care of themselves, and that matters. Girls, women, really, should be just responsible to be beautiful, to make this society look nice, to make human life feel, nice. Let men do all the hard work, but enjoy a scene of beautiful sight, wherever you turn, you feel the sense of beauty, the sense of what life can produce, can make, can give. Wouldn't that be a rare gift already! I know there will be feminists who say that women are more than their body, their look, but also they have brains. Totally agree, but they underestimate how hard it is to become elegant, to act elegant, to be a perpetual beauty, not just when you are young and beautiful by nature, but be that way when you grow, when you age, when you mature ← honestly, I think it takes not only hard work, but wisdom → Excel, Powerpoint, MBA, any of these, you can learn from book and school, but being an elegant person in life, to have the inner touch that reflects to the outside world, to warm up the person near you, to lift hearts that are down, that, takes talents, takes courage, takes a wonderful mind, to achieve that.

    Noah really liked the movie Wonder. It was an ok story, too easy for me to predict its line and its ending. Yet, the climax when he was awarded his school's yearly achievement, was nice, when the principal said "whose strength carries up the most hearts by the attraction of his own". Yes, if only she knows, if only I could keep telling her this — you have a heart of gold, you have such a kindness and inner beauty. Not only you are pretty, but you have brought warmth to everyone around you, that is, wonder, that is why I miss you so much, and I care about you so much. I wish the coldness of this world will never get to you, will never let you down. I wished that I would be there to shield you from all the bad things that can come your way, but I'm weak and old, and I wouldn't be able to accompany you long before you would have to face these yourself. For that, I think the best is to let you go, so you can find someone near your age, so that he could be there for you, to grow old with you, to protect you the longest possible time. I don't know whether you understand this. I think someday you will, if you happen to read this, somehow. As smart as you are, I know you would.

    So my dear sunshine, my 遥远的美丽的人, at this 苦寒之地, I am missing you. How much you would have loved this snow! I can see your face brighten up, reaching out to hold a snow flake, as if you were a kid again. Yes, so this is a perfect day for this trip, snow, snow,, millions of them coming down, remind me Boston, a place I miss, and you, a person I miss.


    PS. Just realized, this coffee shop is called I'm Home. Life indeed has a strange plan for me.

    — by Feng Xia


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