Since coming back from Spring Break trip, my body and mind have been really tired. Work is progressing fine. A lot of new things to learn, but overall are quite manageable. But work is just, work. I was sitting in this good looking, big kitchen 2 o'clock in the morning after fixing a few things, but I really missed you.

    Writing to you have become a habit, if not the only person I feel an urge to talk to, to share what comes to my mind, if not what sits on my soul. But I felt so lonely sometimes, since I don't know where you are about, and where you will ever be anymore. I asked myself a lot about whether there will be another time that our path will cross. But I can't feel it anymore. It feels as strange as if we had never met. I think it's better that way, I mean, to be able continue the path you were on, and take me as an episode of fun that enriches your life, but hold on to a course to what you feel so, and don't be distracted by me — I think this will be better, because I never left, and you will have me there when you need.

    I don't know. Life is not hard, it's just sad. It's a bit of sugar in a lot of sand. It grinds, and grinds, and grinds, till one becomes mediocre, plain, and somewhat heart-broken.

    America, is actually not a foe

    It looks just strange to me that these articles always have an implied assumption that since America is dominating the world but is not doing well, and China is catching up, if not surpassing, fast, that the two are looking at a battle/war that only one will come out live. How ridiculous a view this is!

    Through WWI and WWII, honestly, America doesn't owe China. On the contrary we should be grateful for their supplies to keep the country afloat. And even as for the world in general, America held up the Ally camp with its deep pocket and truly had a heart of a gentleman by not asking for colonies and territories even though at that moment there was not the slightest doubt that if he wanted, he would have had it.

    Besides, the whole talk about ZTE thus the national risk of not having our own CPU or so is just strange. After all, one country just can not have everything that he ever needs, period. So let's say we have come up a CPU capability, then what? Do we need to implement and manufacture everything in order to feel secure? This is just not realistic, nor practical. So there will be things that are ever important to so called national security, yet it is not controlled and owned by China, and you just have to live with this reality. If taking the example of an individual person, the practical approach is simply to be kind to your vendor (for things you don't have), and probably need to be kind to your customer, too, for things you have and want to sell.

    So the statement or the feeling of anxiety under the name of national security or national pride, is just bogus. This probably ties to what I have described as hurt feelings, that you can not control others' perception, thus China will continue to feel crisis regardless how powerful it has become, and this feeling of pride or shame (however you want to interpret it) will not go away, because they have chosen to feel that way, and there is nothing you can do about. Therefore, America is definitely a foe in that psychological sense. Once China has surpassed America, the world No.1 will not bring them a sense of satisfaction, it will only reveal how meaningless, or even burdensome, to be called No.1, and how the life of No.1 is so different from what it is looked like from a lower position ← after all, the grass is always greener on the other side.

    Facebook

    I feel like a prophet these days. Really. If you ever read my article on science, you would have known my position — data is neither truth nor fact. It contains information, but no theory has said that this information is good or bad, right or wrong, useful or useless, will do good or will do bad. Data is actually quite a dangerous thing, because the burden of information has been of collecting them and of storing them, in the past. But with the Internet we have not only made great progress on them, but have gone too far! I think we have created too much information — not in the sense of variety and taking much longer to read through, if even possible to learn and internalize. I think we have manufactured data that are simply misleading, bogus, meaningless, and outright garbage.

    The talk about Facebook becomes a laughing stock in China — a spectacular show of a hero fall from its shrine. But I think this is exactly why US will continue to lead technology, because audited by congress is just not fun, and you'd better get your notes lined up. I challenge any of the BAT to sit in front a committee like that and live through such scrutiny. This is like what ppl say about medical progress, that people nowadays have a lot more problems than before, but it's because we now have a name for it (before Dad, I challenge anyone in China has regarded his situation in any medical sense — dementia, alzheimer). So let them laugh, ignorance is the recipe for happiness, indeed.

    Data collection and so called profiling of a customer or a citizen (as what China takes big data and AI for), is quite a topic worth debating. Let's say you get this capability. Then what!? How do you guard it from doing evil? But this leads to ancient topic that any power, super power in particular, always poses this same question. If you look data integrity, you will see that trusting these firms to be a Saint, or trusting government to be on its good behavior when they possess such power, is just plainly suicidal.

    Human lives in a virtual world

    Regardless what thoughts I want to express, or to discuss, inevitably I have to assign them a name, a tag really, because our own name is really nothing but a tag (but any new parent takes this tag ever so seriously as if it had magic power to determine future!) But it just feels so wrong, while so necessary.

    To me, human language (what do you mean by evil?) is the HARD limit for human progress. I don't know how philosopher deals with this. They must feel more keen of this than I do. When I feel caught in these language loop, this whole world feels like a giant computer game, that we have invented all the names for things, invented a word to describe feeling, thought, so on and on, but in the end, the least clarity lies in those names, words ← Nouns, not too bad; adjectives, terrible; verbs, I think they are fine.

    Anything with adjective, is just BAD!!! Because it invites an endless question of what you mean by that, and how do you know that!? But sadly, Chinese language is filled with adjectives, and they are super proud of that effect, which leads me right to write euphemism. No, I would argue, stop using adjective as much as you can. Stop using language as if it says what it means, because no one knows, no one cares, even the language itself does not know what it is talking about.

    It's just all, mess.

    — by Feng Xia

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