Yes, I'm very much frustrated, last night in particular, that I'm getting fed up by the bullshift question seeking for decision, while at the meantime the other party gives little information, and has pretty much made up mind already of what they wanted to do — so hell, why do u ask me for!? Do you want to hear my opinion, or just want a debate!?
The bottom of all these is a fundamental gap I have been perceiving all long in many settings, not just work, but in life in general, that many many many many people (yes, definitely too many) who lack the sheer capability take a thought one step further in their mind and put in more consideration by asking themselves what it could be like if I do this, or not to do this? You would think this is the natural way everybody thinks, that's how mind works, isn't it, by weighing options?
But you will be surprised. I know I am. All the time I start to question whether I'm the odd ball on the island occupied by a tribe of insane, or of course, in their eyes I'm the insane one! Really, tell me, haven't you had such moment? I bet there is. This is super crazy, really. We are creating work for ourselves now, by making what I call shallow decisions that patches up things in, always, an emergency mode, while everybody runs around super busy, but the end result is nothing but a patched up work.
Then, the worst. Everybody starts to pad each others' back, congratulate a job well done, yet another success, and move on, literally, without ever sitting down and review what went wrong, why they went wrong, anything we should learn and watch out for next time. Amazing, truly amazing! I'm impressed by such easy feeling of comfort, and start afresh everytime without feeling anything is wrong. Now writing these, I feel they are like Dory, who always sees the world a new one, every 7 seconds. How wonderful that will be!
But, this is not engineering! This is not professional! and this is not even maturity! I'm not going into an even more disturbing conclusion that this is simply, purely, stupid! I'm having serious trouble to understand their mentality to brush off a problem without feeling what the heck, and have no curiosity to fix it. Then, tell me, what is going to be the next!? Well, I have an answer for you, the same fire drill in another 2 weeks, or 2 months, and we will trip at the same place, in the same pothole, and eventually, I guarantee you, the luck will run out, and shit will flow, and who is going to clean that up!?
This is absolutely ridiculous. So, enough complaints, let's talk about what went wrong, in my opinion:
seeking decision without giving details
Everytime I see some one-liner email like this, "so and so is broken, can we fix it", or "should we do so and so", my blood pressure shoots off the roof — these are completely irresponsible, waste of time, solves nothing, email, that the only message I'm getting is, "go do it, and it is all your responsibility, and I have none."
Do you see it? How am I going to take any action, or give any opinion without having information — if so and so is broken, a list of questions pop into my mind:
- What is the symptom?
- What did you do?
- What are you trying to do?
- How did you come to the conclusion that it was broken? What was the reference of "not broken"?
- What have you already tried?
- What is your analysis of what might be the cause?
- How could we zoom in or eliminate/prove the cause?
- What is your suggestion? and preference?
The bottom line is, help me to understand the situation, give me information, so I could be informed and make a suggestion based on my domain expertise. Just a question that "can we fix it" means nothing to me — you know what, this is a YES or NO question, so there are really two possible answers by definition. What if my default answer is, NO!? then what? do you have any better idea? If you do, then why not say them at the first place? and if you don't (and that's why you are asking me, right!?), then you have my answer, and go away.
seeking decision but decision has been made
Too many times question is posted to me as if it's seeking my opinion. However, as soon as the opinion is out, man, there come all kinds of relevant (but really irrelevant) argument to essentially shoot it down because my answer is not what they want to hear — dead line, schedule, promise to customer, promise to manager, promise to so and so — I always wanted to just shuffle all these into their face, "these are all your problems, not mine!" I didn't make those promise, I didn't make those deadline, I'm hired to produce quality, not time.
Yes, time. If you know anybody who can create time, I would love to talk to him/her, cause, really, time, I wish I could, create new, produce more, and go back (or even go forward, like a quick forward to death, if it is an option).
All this type of BS leads to is just argument, and argument doesn't even add information, because each side has been pre-set to take a position, so just trying to hold position and convince the other party — this is not engineering discussion, this is a political debate for president, only one side is going to win, and one party to rule.
This, is all, wrong.
In the end, I think what is missing is the fundamental intellectual capability to perceive a path by doing it in mind, and by believing that your information is never perfect, thus listenning is a way of checking whether there is anything important thing you missed in others' arguments. Only when you think your points have covered the other's ground, should you be firm w/ your opinion and defend it — this, to me, is the definition of open-mindness.
But sadly, I have only met less than a handful in my entire life who possesses this trait, naturally. The rest majority, and I'm sure this is representative of proportion of population who will have the (so now we are talking about, I don't know, 0.0001%? some minute number for sure).
First time I heard from 高晓松 that the crowd (or the people) is actually the thing we should be alert for (警惕), I thought it was rather counter intuitive. However, the older I get, the more I start to realize, the majority, is not wise.
The majority, creates mess, but they are perfectly content. It's the minority, who can't live w/ such mess, will end up cleaning them up.
— by Feng Xia