Forget someone, is hard.

    Your image kept popping into my head this morning, on treadmill, on a path walked from building to building, in the sun, by the shadow of a tree, in the cold winter air, or warmth of a ray that brings one of billion-th of energy for the universe all the way to my body, a branch without leaves but is secretly preparing to welcome the inevitable Spring, a bird flying by, some geese who have started migrating north, or my cats who snuggle by my side last night while I was having a late night call, and getting up with me when he thought I was going to reahch out more midnight snack for him....

    You are, everywhere, will not pass, will not forget.

    Why is it so? Looking back, I hardly have forgotten anyone w/ whom I have devoted time and love to, from the first girl I met, to you. I wonder whether this is just me, or this is human nature that everyone is capable of, but someone choose not to, and someone does? or is it a capability that one is good at, while others don't? and can you gain or improve this capability by, practice? or just born with a fixed value that will, in a way, define you!?

    I don't know. It certainly like an attribute that I have lived with, and will not change. Maybe I don't want to change — who should I forget all these people, these people in my life who, at one point or another, were so important to me, so close to me, that definitely defined who I was, and led to who I am!? Why should I let it pass into some oblivion? If I'm looking at Dad, I constant felt that there is a stranger living in his body, because he has lost his conscience to recollect his past, and without them, what defines him anymore!?

    I don't want that. Thinking of you is hard. You feel so far away, and I can't pull myself together if I start to wonder where you are, what you do, how you are going by your life, and whom is by your side... But I can't help it. You, took a spot in my mind, in my life, and that spot, is so wonderful, so deep, that, if one day I could not find it anymore, I will be lost.

    If that happens, my dear 美丽的人, the true me has never forgotten, by the year, the month, the day, the minute, the second, the every single elapse of mind, of moment in life; the one who forgets, is not me anymore.

    Don't forget, I pray, till the day I die, till the day I am reborn, over and over and over, just with a hope to, see you.

    — by Feng Xia


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