2019-03-24

Ten years

I'm scared. I had an uneasy sleep last night, worrying about a lot of things. In particular, I worried about time, about myself getting old. At age 46, it seems absurd that I'm feeling old. Yet, that's how I'm feeling these days, and it is not ...

continue reading
2019-03-22

Ordinary

Have you had a funny feeling on someday, that something is happening, to someone, someone that jumps to your mind at the first thought when you had that feeling? That's how I felt today. I don't know what it is. If looking at this line I just wrote ...

continue reading
2019-03-20

City life

I find it curious. Listening to a sentimental talk show on the Netease music app, the kind that a young woman's pretty face as the icon, and a soothing voice that suggest the picture you see is her, and slow, relaxing, late night style light music in the background ...

continue reading
2019-03-20

What is your song

Have you ever felt, that someday, there is a song, that makes you think of, someone? And this song, always, always, reminds of, of that person, regardless how remote and ...

continue reading
2019-03-15

Human grouping

How curious! Human, I do mean the general population whom I observe in various settings, always get excited by a thing, a place, another person, that has practically speaking nothing to do with him/her, but yet, they are so eager to make a connection with that thing, that place ...

continue reading
2019-03-14

Self-disciplined

This is pretty amazing — "Google killed 2.3 billion ‘bad ads’ in 2018, down 28% from 2017". I'm thinking the sheer number and complexity involves to make detection, and to take action against these 2.3 billion bad Ads. This is an absolute tech challenge, not to mention the ...

continue reading
2019-03-07

Self-esteem

I start to understand now, better perhaps, than before, that what self-esteem feels like, and why women have this anxiety of so.

With aging I start to notice that hair is becoming less, and this has been bothering me for the last few weeks when I started to notice it ...

continue reading
2019-03-01

Rain rain rain

Rain, rain, rain. Not quite actually. It's cloudy, misty, and is about to rain. Nothing really special for an early Spring day. Some flowers have bloomed, and some are on their way.

Like walking in this mist, reminds me the days I was wondering around in Suzhou, the college ...

continue reading
2019-02-21

What is engineering

I have been thinking, and probably being pissed off at the current status of the work, that whether the concept of engineering in my mind is the problem, or what I perceive is correct and it's the others who are not getting it.

So, what is engineering? I recall ...

continue reading
2019-02-15

Strange fate

Have you had this feeling before? that something is off, and things are happening in a strange way?

This is how I felt yesterday and the day before. Went to see a medical surgeon to take care of that bump on the back of my head. At parking lot, out ...

continue reading
2019-02-03

Tears

Caught a full bag of stars. Last time I had this moment was in 2004 just before I was leaving for Beijing. Fourteen years later, there they are again, glittering, haven't changed.

There must be an interlink between humans. I can't believe that a movie like Fahrenheit 11 ...

continue reading
2019-01-30

Forget someone

Forget someone, is hard.

Your image kept popping into my head this morning, on treadmill, on a path walked from building to building, in the sun, by the shadow of a tree, in the cold winter air, or warmth of a ray that brings one of billion-th of energy for ...

continue reading
2019-01-30

Time

Time is indeed relative.

I was talking to Noah about this this morning — why one feels the time in the morning always flies by? Theoretically time is uniform, it ticks by the second all the time, at the same pace. It doesn't change over the course of a day ...

continue reading
2019-01-25

Bizzare logic

U want know some bizzare logic? Here is one, from a terrible ridiculous argument w/ Noah's mom.

She said at dinner table that she has applied two charter schools for Noah. I then asked what are these two schools, and want to know more about them. We talked about ...

continue reading
2019-01-22

human and perception

I'm finding myself battling my own perception these days, a lot. Perception isn't a new topic to me. I have analyzed in hurt feeling whether it is a reasonable action for Noah's mom to feel hurt because of something I did, well, at least based on her ...

continue reading
2019-01-14

Taikang 2019

Dear friends of the 19th floor,

At time of departing, there is always something come to mind that I feel to speak and to write. So here it is. Take it as a "Thank you" note, or just a plain letter, from someone who had the privilege live with this ...

continue reading
2019-01-13

Operating systems

Let me talk about OS. This has been an annoying topic recently due to the ZTE fiasco, which to me is a running joke on its own — one billion dollar fine, and we got nothing but a bunch of BS articles circulating on in wechat that arouses nationalistic sentiments with ...

continue reading
2019-01-11

Details

Devils are indeed in details. Watching a Japanese movie Fire on the Plain, it suddenly reminded me a topic I have always wanted to write about — you know, when we are listening to the wonderful story of the Three Kingdoms, and fancy how powerful China was, and how you could ...

continue reading
2019-01-09

Thank me

This is a curious thing. Maybe I'm thinking too much again. So at the dinner table, two women sitting next to me asked me to open a jar for her. Sure thing, The there is a girl sitting across to us on another table said, "turn it upside down ...

continue reading
2019-01-07

Wife material

Traveling reveals one thing to me. I don't know whether this is unique to me, or it is common to many people, guys especially. I start to realize that, regardless which space I am in, let's say, in a shuttle bus, or a subway, or an airport, or ...

continue reading